Don’t Eat Me, Big Dinosaurus!
Way, way back in the Jurassic day,
all the dinosaurs would come out and play!
But when they get hungry, if you're in their way,
You have to yell really loud as you bravely say:
Don't eat me, big dinosaurus!
I don't want to be punctured and porous!
I'll take my bones and hide in the forest
so you don't eat me, big dinosaurus!
The biggest teeth has the tyrannosaurus,
He'll eat you up with a gigantic roar-us
unless you sing him a rousing chorus
of don't eat me, big dinosaurus!
Don't eat me, big dinosaurus!
I don't want to be punctured and porous!
I'll take my bones and hide in the forest
so you don't eat me, big dinosaurus!
The velociraptor is fast and fierce,
with tongue to taste and teeth to pierce!
She'll eat up your lips and your nose and your earce
unless you sing with great jumps and jeers:
Don't eat me, big dinosaurus!
I don't want to be punctured and porous!
I'll take my bones and hide in the forest
so you don't eat me, big dinosaurus!
Another big mouth is the Allosaur,
no fun at parties, he's a terrible bore!
but when you go to sleep you'd better not snore
or he'll hear and he'll eat you - unless you can roar:
Don't eat me, big dinosaurus!
I don't want to be punctured and porous!
I'll take my bones and hide in the forest
so you don't eat me, big dinosaurus!
The Stegosaur is an herbivore,
and Triceratops loves belly flops!
With great big beaks and their chubby cheeks
We sing them ballads about salads!
Don't eat me, big herbivore!
I'm not a leafy green vegetable store!
I'll hide my bones and you'll hear me roar:
Don't eat me, big herbivore!
Yeah, don't eat me, big dinosaurus!
I don't want to be punctured and porous!
I'll take my bones and hide in the forest
so you don't eat me, big dinosaurus!
Moon Blooms
Sunlight, brilliant bright, is staggering to see,
The moonlight, though, is just enough - after all, there's only me.
The sun's reflection like a mirror, so cold and pale and full,
the moon hangs heavy, like the snow. I can't resist its pull.
Out here, the snow is crisp and cold, the night's a starry dance!
My feet are freezing, though, and I wish I'd worn my pants.
The moonlight shining on the snow makes glitter diamond gems
And the shadows of the trees are huge, just branches and bent stems.
The leaves are gone, the trees are bare, as naked as can be -
Something that I never thought I'd have in common with a tree!
Mom and Dad might yell and shout if they saw my empty bed...
"Good night, my love, and stay inside," was the last thing that they said.
Snow angels are just crazy eights while laying on the ground.
They keep me warm while working out, and I don't make a sound.
But I'm chilly now and really should, I guess, get back to bed.
I've heard the cold can make you sleep, and sleep until you're dead.
But all these angels! I've made art! Oh hey - I need to pee.
So before I go I'll sign my name. That way they'll know that it was me.
Forever@Always.Love
Back in 1997, my wife grew tired of my bashing her country music tastes and challenged me to pen a country song myself, if I thought it was so easy. I apologize for the results. I still hear it as a duet with Brad Paisley and Dolly Parton.
I turned on my computer just like I do every day -
Kick-start to the power and the video display.
I'm waiting for an e-mail from my baby in LA,
Hoping that her little message finds its way.
I logged in and checked my mail -
This waiting had my heart in jail;
I sure hoped we'd be together soon.
My server said I had new stuff -
I couldn’t download fast enough -
But what I read there made me sadder than a loon:
She wrote:
Do you really need me underneath the Texas moon?
Do you really need me later? Do you really need me soon?
Mister, I must tell you, before to Texas I do roam,
I need to know where your love's coming from.
My heart skipped a mighty beat
I was glued right to my seat
and I felt there, as I read that, I could cry.
My fingers flew right to the keys
to put her nervous heart at ease
and I typed out, through my tears, this swift reply:
I wrote:
I don't wish for you on every star - just the ones up in the sky
I don't need you every day - just the ones that end in 'Y'
My heart burns for you like stars in Heaven up above
And I'm sending you this e-mail from: Forever@always.love!
Forever@always.love!
You're the one girl that I'm dreaming of!
No virtual girlfriends,
No diamonds and pearl friends,
Do for me what you do, my Love.
Well that’s pretty much just how it went,
and I felt much better when it was sent,
and sure to check reply return receipt.
So I knew she’d read it right away,
and I wondered what her reply would say,
and more, what she would say, when next we’d meet.
She wrote:
Our hearts are both like stars above, they burn with equal heat,
And since you really need me, I’ll be moving from my street,
I’ll pack up my computer, and off from LA I will shove,
I’ll see you very soon, my dear: Forever@always.love!
Forever@always.love!
You're the only one I'm dreaming of!
No diamonds and pearl friends,
No Wide Web and World friends,
Do for me what you do, my Love.
You know I really need you underneath this Texas moon!
I really need you now my love; I really need you soon!
My heart burns for you like stars in Heaven up above!
I’ll see you very soon, my dear: Forever@always.love!
Forever@always.love!
You're the only one I'm dreaming of!
No diamonds and pearl friends,
No Wide Web and World friends,
Do for me what you do, my Love.
Forever@always.love!
Right Now Once More
When she was young, she'd listen to the radio
Waitin' for her favorite song
When it played, she'd sing along.
When I was young, I'd listen to the radio
Waitin' to hear her
When she came on, I'd sing along
Just like she did.
In your youth, a few weeks ago, you've never had to wait
to hear your favorite song
to hear your favorite artist
to sing along
It's never yesterday.
It's not even today.
It's always Right Now.
And Right Now Once More.
And once more after that.
Right. Fucking. Now.
We're doing 75 miles an hour down the highway and a song pops into your head. You, Digital Native, are only a few clicks of your radio dial away from every song ever recorded.
"What's a radio? Why do they call it a dial?"
That's when we get to the part
Where you're breakin' my heart.
Shooby doo lang lay, kid.
Shooby doo lang lay.
A Walk in the Morning
The sunrise is muted, subdued, as if the day is embarrassed about dawning.
A patch of purple-blue there, a patch up of almost-pink here.
Through a sky studded with bruises, the sun makes its slow way to the horizon.
The frogs and crickets have no shame, but the birds are oddly silent, as though they know some unholy secret about the morning. With their silence, they become complicit in its guilt.
As I pause, I realize that my steps have been careful, deliberate, making as little noise as I can. I, too, am guilty. I would rather not discuss it, this black and blue sky, this oh-god-it's-you-again dawn. I'd rather turn away, talk about something else.
The crickets are without blame; the frogs have no cause to hide from the sun's justice.
The birds hold their song, unwilling to pipe up the dawn a moment before they have to.
A dog barks, and I think my god, what have we done?
open to interpretation
Yes.
But
then again,
No.
I mean, perhaps, on Saturday, if it's fine.
But it probably won't be.
Soon, though. Very soon. Promise.
And no phones this time. For once. For me? Thank you.
Everything tastes like metal. Joy, pain, despair, delight - all acrid, chewing tinfoil with iron teeth, a mercurial tongue clucking its disappointment in my choices.
So, yeah, sure, why not? Yes.
Ish...
But probably no.
Rain on Seahorses
the rain
from the sky it falls
the beautiful notice it
most of all
the beautiful
up from the earth they spring
they bring us the sun in the bluest sky
the Moon's bright blood flows through the sea
the beautiful people
swim
in the blood of the moon
with the horses
under the water
fry cook in hell
one fry joint looks pretty much another
they all really sorta look the same
everybody knows you need to work there
but no one seems to need to know your name
the greasy spoon, the diner, and the truck stop
they all attract the self same clientele
they greasy kid, the trucker, and beat cop
the teen-aged temptress with her sales to sell
she walked in and i said, you are an angel
she laughed a throaty laugh and said, do tell
and I'd always kinda known that i had fallen
but I never really guessed how far i fell
that is when i knew i'd found my callin'
that's how i know i'm dropping fries in Hell
old Scratch has got a fryer full of oil
just waiting to find out which way you roll
and he's got that sucker up so hot it's smoking
so he can bite into my battered, breaded soul
i'm cooking here while devils want their munchies
i'm safe as long as the job and tips don't fail
i smile at the girl, hair back in scrunchies
and pretend that i can't see her teeth and tail
she tells me that she started as a fry cook
that she worked her way above the ranks from there
that i could do the same just like a boss
but looking in her eyes, i didn't care
i fell into her gaze and i was lost
such beauty that my soul could never bear
my battered soul reached out for hers, and fell,
deep-fried and golden brown
bobbing in the oil vats
of Hell.
The Ghost of Old Oxford Road
Old Oxford Rd, Durham, NC
The old ghost of Old Oxford Rd,
he "fell off his horse," so I'm told...
But his wounds look quite vicious,
which makes me suspicious
that they just might have been caused by gold.
Jack Hewett, in life, was his name,
and women his typical game.
He'd bet on a horse
And on dice thrown, of course,
But he usually bet on a dame.
Jack came to Durham one year
hunting for rabbits and deer.
On George Clement's farm,
he stayed safe from harm,
and usually stayed for a beer.
He'd come over from Hillsborough way
looking for game, for to pay
for his room and his board.
But, in hunting he scored
more with his staff than his sword.
He rode over to Chapel Hill
(which, you know, is remaining there still),
where he charmed a young thing
into having a fling -
even though she had ne'er inked a quill.
A young nun known as Sister Rowanne,
she saw only a big handsome man!
She'd been wedded to God
before puberty's nod
had changed her, as puberty can.
In the Chapel for which town was named,
that poor nun wound up quite ashamed -
for to do what she done,
while being a nun,
was a sin that was not even named!
Her order did not take it kind,
but old Jack, he paid never mind.
He'd won and he'd wooed her
and rightly he'd screwed her
and he put her straight out of his mind.
She tried to forget the damn stud,
but the moon waxed and waned without blood.
She swore and she spat
when she knew she'd begat
and she cursed that his name should be mud!
Her order said they would disown
when they saw how her belly had grown
With no star in the East,
They declared her a beast
and she reaped what the man Jack had sown.
Her cousin up at Knap of Reeds
could do what a young mother needs
He delivered the lad
but the story turned sad
for Rowanne's buried out in the weeds.
No grave consecrated for her,
for the church said her soul they'd abjure.
Her last words to her kin
were, "commit one more sin,
and somebody kill me that cur."
Her cousin had made goodly pound
and, as doctor, was easily found.
He made known that Jack Hewett
should be hard pressed to it
should anyone see him around.
A bastard named Will Arendell
Was the fellow who first "saw Jack fell!"
But an erstwhile nun
with oven... and bun...
seems to have paid him quite well.
Rowanne's cousin had furnished the purse
but, dying, she uttered the curse:
"Let his personal Hell
be the spot where he fell,
regardless of body or hearse."
Arendell, he knew Hewett from dice,
and had heard that his head had a price.
Out near Clement's farm
with intention to harm,
he startled Jack's horse with some mice!
The horse reared and the rider, he fell,
and the cobblestones did their work well.
On the road to Oxford
William drew knife and sword
and made sure that Jack went straight to hell.
So Jack Hewett haunts Oxford Road
and he will, while his debt is yet owed.
While the sunlight can shine
on his only son's line,
those cobbles remain his abode!
Jack's spirit is seen when the sun
lights this path through this deep forest run.
But when the ghost sees a habit,
he will run like a rabbit,
rather than gaze on a nun!