Montezuma tower, this is Major Eight-Fifteen
\nYou’ve gotta clear the runway so I can put this thing down clean
\nI’m coming down, I’m coming fast, and that’s no lie
\nThis engine’s no intention of keeping me up in the sky!<\/p>\n
Eight-Fifteen, we read you, but you’ll have to make a pass
\nthe pattern’s full, the traffic’s tight, I’d catch hell from the brass
\nI can’t have you just barging in, we’ve got a VIP
\nand she comes first unless you’ve got a real emergency!<\/p>\n
Eight-Fifteen to tower, let me try to make this clear
\nI’m getting light on gas and it’s awfully hard to steer
\nIf you don’t have a runway, can you point me to some dirt?
\nMayday mayday mayday, this is really gonna hurt!<\/p>\n
This is Montezuma tower hailing Major Eight-Fifteen
\nI don’t have you on my scope and I can’t see you on my screen
\nWhat’s the number, weight, and type of the aircraft that you’re in?
\nPut your wheels down, Major Mayday, and we’ll try to fit you in.<\/p>\n
Major Eight-Fifteen to tower, my wheels are always down
\nUp ’til now they’ve been quite happy just rolling on the ground
\nI came off Dead Man’s Hill at a hundred sixty-two
\nAircraft type my ass, I’m in a Chevy Malibu!<\/p>\n
Major, I don’t care if you are in a car or on a kite
\nwhile you are in my airspace, I will see that you’re all right
\nBut tell me how the hell you that pulled off this daring deed
\nThe Malibu is built to last, but they sure ain’t built for speed<\/p>\n
Tower, I was tuning up the car a little bit
\nand I installed a brand new engine that I’d built out of a kit
\nbut the instructions didn’t say that I should take the old one out
\nand she started up just twice as fast, and she took off with a shout!<\/p>\n
Eight-Fifteen, we see you now, you’re good and cleared to land
\nAlthough you’ve overshot the runway, and the last small strip of sand
\nYou seem to have a vector on the middle of Lake Tug
\nI bet you wish you’d traded that old Chevy for a Bug!<\/p>\n
Montezuma tower, you’re as funny as a tomb
\nPlease let the boaters know to clear and give me room
\nIf I cannonball the lake, they will surely be all wet
\nBut I gotta tell ya, Tower, I don’t seem to be down yet.<\/p>\n
Roger, Eight-Fifteen, you have passed over the lake
\nYou are exiting our airspace, so I’ll give you one more break
\nI’m clearing you through Denver, down to Dallas and Fort Worth
\nPlease look us up and send a card if you get back down to earth.<\/p>\n
Montezuma tower, this is Major Eight-Fifteen
\nThanks for all your help, and you have really been a scream
\nI’m sure I’ll land this car real soon, just as pretty as you like
\nWhereupon I swear I’m gonna trade her for a bike!<\/p>\n